A poem about depression

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

I wanted to share this poem with you to try and show the amount of pain you feel when your whole live has been one abuse after the other. The helplessness you feel in a world that has a long way to go in understanding the never ending loneliness you deal with. I'm happy to say you do trust again and some of us find true love but the struggle never stops.

Where Is My Place in This World  

Seems I have lost my way it’s so dark around me I can barely see 
 I stumble daily not knowing where this darken thorn covered path is leading me 
 Where can I run where I can hide when I know off the path is so unsafe and unsure  
If only I could fixed this pain that has burned its way down into my soul's core  

I glance back over the journey I have taken on this path and life has not been kind  
I have never been able to count on anyone to make me feel like everything was fine 
No one can be trusted with my heart I must guard it because they just tell me empty lies 
 Why should I open myself to anymore pain no one can quiet my soul’s sad cries  

My eyes only see this path as a straight path to destruction a never ending life of pain 
 I must stay here trying to find the person I have hidden to protect her from going insane
  How can I handle all this guilt that I have to carry forever and all the tears I have cried 
 I fall on my knees the thorns pierce into my skin a welcome pain from what I feel inside

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Hi Everyone
It seems like forever since I have actually wrote a post for my blog. My new year thing was to start blogging again but real life happens and it has a way of putting any plans I have on hold for a while.

I wanted to take a moment to give an update on my health, I am feeling a little better pain wise but not a big lot. I am in treatment for my PTSD and depression and yes I am even taking medication and I just finished up a group therapy and my psychiatrist have suggested I take some counselling sessions for BPD and my PTSD. I will be assessed for that in a couple of weeks

So enough about that. I still haven't decided what I wanted this blog to be about so I guess I will continue rambling on about different things and hopefully you will stick with me.

Twenty eighteen was not a good year for us, it seems we are always struggling and looking for the light we know is coming but can't seem to catch a glimpse of it yet. My husband had an accident a year and a half ago and now the doctor and put him off work completely because of his injuries.
We had to move forom our previously beautiful big condo and moved to a beautiful very small apartment because of finance and health reasons and I had to downsize quite a bit so that is taking some getting use to.
It's hard when I'm going down my little hallway and if Mike decides to come from the opposite direction one of us has to step to the side or backup :) We have got used to it has much as possible in the year we have been here and if nothing else it has brought us closer (play on words)

My First Time Doing Crafts

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Here are two a centerpieces I did ....It's my first time doing any crafts on my own ...They were fairly easy and I just love the end result

Here is the first one I done I have this one for my coffee table ...I saw a similar one with candles in it at Safeway  and decided to tried it myself with a few changes.........

My Blue Christmas

The group that helped me from my yesterday

Friday, November 11, 2011

 Hi everyone ....I hope everyone had a wonderful week ....My week was great as usual I got out to some thrift stores and we heard from Canadian Immigration ...Mike's application was transferred to L.A so moving to Canada is getting closer everyday...This Friday I wanted to tell you about a wonderful online support group that helped me so much when I finally got away from my abusive marriage ......Some may be asking what this has to do with me re-inventing myself ...Well I feel like unless you go back and look at what helped you or shaped you to get to where you are now then re-invent can never happen .........The group is Women Against Domestic Violence or WADV ....It's an online support group that a wonderful lady Melissa started back in 2000 or 2001 ...I am so proud to be associated with this group..I am not active in the group like I was but it will always hold a special place in my life ... Melissa and I have become best friends and we still are there for each other to this day and we have never even met but someday.....After you read the poem I wrote about this group check on the link below it and see what an amazing group this is ..............................................

My Xmas Shelf

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Ok I couldn't wait any longer I have my Xmas shelf done ......All these things are what I made myself or found at Thrift Stores and Flea Markets
I hope you like

Christmas !!!!!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

I know Thanksgiving is not here yet but I'm orginally from Canada eh and we had our Thanksgiving in October ...So that being said We did two things tonight that was so far out there for us ........We got a white xmas tree and We got it up :) ........... I just wanted to share a few pictures with you and I will add more later when it's actually finish

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” — Elisabeth K├╝bler-RosS
“The day she realized, it was not about the world but was all about her, she grew the wings. The day she understood she was not answerable to any of them who always blamed and pointed her, she had the fire blazing in her eyes. She raised and soared towards the sky. The whole world looked at her in awe and wished if only they could be her. She was not confined to be on the ground anymore. She had the wings of fire and she left a trail everywhere she went, for other to follow.” ― Akshay Vasu

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